Dalloyau :: Tarte aux Cerises
By Paris Patisseries in Dalloyau
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Dalloyau really has mastered that tried-and-true business principle of “location, location, location.” Not only is it situated directly between the Luxembourg Gardens and the Panthéon, but it’s only a few metres from “Quality Burger Restaurant.” Now, if it were down from, say, McDonald’s, the tourist hordes wouldn’t even notice the dazzling pastries within. When you put it in eyeshot of a knock-off fast food chain with a stereotypically absurd attempt at English as its name, you’re getting approximately 500% more attention than you would otherwise. If only my other favorite, “French Typical Bistro”, were on the same block, Dalloyau would be set. At any rate, once someone’s caught sight of a piece like the Tarte aux Cerises, it’s hard to resist being sucked into the shop.
Then again, had I been wearing my glasses when I bought this, I might have noticed that the cherries came from a can. So I wouldn’t have been surprised to find out the custard beneath them was courtesy of Jell-O’s fine line of pudding mixes and that the tarte shell was expertly prepared in the head chef’s Easy Bake Oven. Honestly, I can’t rule out either of those possibilities. All three constituents were just mediocre. The cherries tasted like [good] canned cherries. The shell was passable with a reasonable flavor and texture. And then custard was . . . custardy.
I just have to scratch my head and wonder why Dalloyau would be selling something like this. If I wanted to maintain a solid reputation in the Parisian scene, then I wouldn’t be offering the world work so lacking in creativity and the need for skill in preparation that basically any pastry chef could create it. Or maybe this is the one pastry they let a sous chef prepare for his first 10 years with Dalloyau. I can hear the direction he’d get from his boss on day 1 with the company – “Ok, Fabrice, hee-uh iz zee can-openuh, zee hand-mixuh, and 20 Euros. I like you to go to zee store and get zee Easy Bake Oven. Make sure it izz zee Deluxe model. We are Dalloyau aftuh all!”
Obviously, skip the Tarte aux Cerises. The only reason I’ve reviewed it is because it’s fairly photogenic and because I knew it would be fun to mock. I’m sure something at Dalloyau will eventually appease me, but they’re currently batting 0-2 here.
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